Drops appeared on my yoga mat; I was surprised that the drops originated from me. The sweat on my hands made my sticky mat less sticky.
Online, there is an overwhelming number of articles talking about all the different aspects of yoga – its origins in India, the different styles of yoga, the physical benefits, the mental benefits, and definitions of Sanskrit words.
I first practiced yoga about 20 years ago. As I do with most things, I quickly became obsessed. I paid for an introductory package at a studio near me, and proudly wrote my name on my new yoga mat.
Almost as quickly as my initial yoga obsession started, it passed, making way for indoor cycling, cardio kickboxing and running.
Recently, I’ve returned to my yoga practice. I’ve been finding that in middle age, my body and mind are craving a different kind of exercise. The joint pounding running that I grimaced through in the past has become really unpleasant. The weight lifting and high intensity classes that energized me in the past are now unnecessarily draining. And, the spin classes that I became so obsessed with that I even became an instructor, now seem to be bulking up parts of me that I don’t want bulked up.
Yoga gently challenges me. I definitely feel the practice in my body, but it is not so debilitating that it hurts to walk the next day. Yoga also brings to my life more meditative activities. In yoga, after doing a really challenging bound pose, we are taught to gently come out of the pose with deliberation and intent. Throughout the practice of yoga, my favorite teachers intersperse words of wisdom and compassion.
In this morning’s class, I unrolled my 20 year old yoga mat which still proudly proclaims my maiden name. Our teacher talked about reconnecting with the heart. If we open our heart, good things happen. My teacher then quoted words from Martin Luther King, Jr. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Even though I have heard this quote many times before, it moved me today. My life these days seems to be filled with needless shootings, political chaos, shifting friendships, and an impending family visit. My instinct is to close my heart and move towards hate, but perhaps the opposite is what needed.
At the end of class, we end with the traditional Shavasna Pose – also known as corpse pose. Today, my teacher called it the final resting pose. He said that we often live life in fear of the impending death that is coming for all of us. But, instead of fearing death, we should prepare for death and live life in a way that gets us ready. We practice the Shavasana Pose to practice the way that we might be laid to rest when we die.
This too struck me deeply. In the past year and a half, my dad died and my husband’s dad died. I’ve been thinking a lot about mortality and how I want to live my life knowing that death is coming. Perhaps, I should live more with an open heart and stillness in my brain. See you on the mat.
Jennifer (Marshall) Pesetsky, J.D., M.L.I.S.
Star’s Mom